Tom Haverford – or rather, Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani, as he was known before he changed his proper noun to get ahead in politics – is 1 of the funniest and nigh popular characters on Parks and Recreation. And that'due south a bear witness with a lot of funny and popular characters, so it'due south saying a lot that he stands out and so much. Played hilariously past Aziz Ansari, he had a number of classic quotes over the years, and nosotros've gathered the best of them.

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And then, fans of Parks and Recreation, treat yo selves to the 10 All-time Tom Haverford Quotes from the evidence.

x On flowers

"Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers. Those are some Diddies. Those are some Bone Thugs-Due north-Harmoniums, correct here. Those Ludacrises are coming in great."

Dorsum in flavor ii, Parks and Rec was still finding its feet after a bumpy freshman year. But at the end of the day, information technology was still the same writing staff and cast members, so there are plenty of gems to exist mined from the early episodes. This quote well-nigh using rappers to brand up the names of plants is one of them.

9 On the central to success

"At the gamble of bragging, i of the things I'chiliad best at is riding coattails. Backside every successful human is me, grinning and taking partial credit."

At to the lowest degree Tom is honest. No i can deny that. He knows what his strengths are, and simply because they involve being shamelessly dishonest, he doesn't let that cease him. The problem is that he just ever hangs around with Jean-Ralphio, whose ideas aren't worth stealing. They might fifty-fifty be worse than Tom's. Plus, he annoys everyone he encounters enough to put them off him forever, so he's terrible at networking, which gets him nowhere. There are no coattails for Tom to ride.

viii On breakups

"She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily, when you're the guy, you lot just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke upwardly.' 'Yes, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage."

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Whenever Tom Haverford has an extended monologue like this in i of his talking caput interviews, Aziz Ansari uses the opportunity to put his standup comedy skills to piece of work. When a line is this long, it almost becomes a bit, so Ansari tin can deliver it similar 1 of his standup routines, which makes it as funny every bit it can be.

7 On A&E reality shows

"If your chore was remotely interesting, in that location would be a show on A&E about it."

These days, it seems like every line of work – whether its crabbing or ice route trucking or highway maintenance or some other mildly interesting occupation – has a reality show about it. And as Tom points out, a lot of them are on A&E.

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This is a swell insult, because at that place are some really schlocky reality shows out at that place about some very mundane topics, so for your line of piece of work to not fifty-fifty qualify for that, it must exist really dull. It'south quite a put-down.

6 On investment opportunities

"Brand-A-Baby Tuxedo clothing line. A section shop with a invitee list. White fur earmuffs for men. Contact lenses that display text messages. Invent a phone that smells skillful. Own a nightclub, phone call it Eclipse, that'south only open for one 60 minutes ii times a year. Encompass charge? Five thousand dollars."

Tom was known for having dozens upon dozens of business ideas rattling around in his brain. The occasional skilful idea was drowned in a sea of terrible ideas. Of the ones he saw through, some of them were dreadful – looking at you, Amusement 720 – while some actually worked out, like Rent-A-Swag.

5 On his aspirations

"I want to open up up my own social club 1 day, maybe call it something like Lodge a Dub Dub, or the Club Marine. Sort of a submarine-themed guild. Or Tom's Bistro. The word 'bistro' is classy equally southward**t."

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When Tom pitches ideas like "a submarine-themed club," it doesn't seem as though he'south thought these things through before maxim them. He's just making it up equally he goes along. Tom did cease up using the proper name Tom's Chophouse for one of his businesses, just information technology wasn't a social club. It was a swish eating house that played host to the Pawnee elite.

4 On DJ Roomba

"I strapped an MP3 histrion to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba. Trivial guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba? DJ Roomba, tearin' it up!"

Who doesn't beloved DJ Roomba? In fact, Tom's inventive utilize of "one of those floor-cleaning robots" has inspired a lot of the show'southward fans to practise it themselves. When the little robot vacuuming the floor blares out a hot playlist as it whirs around the floor, it makes cleaning upwardly fun!

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This line would be nowhere near equally memorable or funny if Tom didn't name his creation. DJ Roomba sounds both cute and badass.

iii On playing it absurd

"No, I don't text her, 'It was nice coming together you.' I wait eight weeks and I text her, 'What'southward crackin'?'"

When y'all get someone'southward number, dating experts usually recommend that yous await three days before texting or calling them. Only Tom Haverford takes that a few steps further and waits eight weeks – a full two months! – before even contacting them. In that location's playing it absurd, just that'due south next-level playing it cool. Tom never really had success in the dating world. Whatever human relationship he was in inevitably concluded. With ideas similar this one in his head, it's non really much of a surprise.

2 On download criteria

"Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer i simple question: is it a banger?"

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Now that we have Spotify and iTunes giving us every song or album ever created at the touch of a push, Tom'due south "rigorous tests" aren't really necessary. They were a few decades ago, when you'd have to go downwards to the record shop and spend your month's allowance on a single album. Back and then, yous had to make sure information technology would exist skillful to be worth your costly pennies. Still, today, Tom has very specific criteria for the songs he downloads.

i On budget course

"How exercise you make whatsoever result classy on a budget? Red carpeting. My entire apartment is red carpet. On height of that, leading into my sleeping accommodation, a second reddish carpet. Oh, what's this in my shoe? Crimson carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on carmine rug."

The image of Tom showing the photographic camera his shoe with a crimson carpet lining the sole is i of the virtually popular memes to come up from the show. Living like a superstar for a small amount of money is what Tom's all about.

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Ben Sherlock (3389 Articles Published)

Ben Sherlock is a author, comedian, contained filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Bluster. He's currently in pre-production on his first feature (and has been for a while, because filmmaking is expensive). You can grab him performing standup at odd pubs effectually the U.k. that will requite him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Picture palace, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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